Once you are in your late 20s, receiving another invitation during the wedding season can bother you, especially if you don’t have a plus one to bring to. More than the social embarrassment, your own family’s constant pressing with all the marriage pressure can be tedious. This often leads to anxiety and many other mental health issues arising from the anxiety to face such constant marriage pressure from parents. According to therapists and relationship experts, women tend to get nervous if they are not in a serious relationship by the time, they turn 30.
The age-old belief of settling down and starting a family is still very much prevalent in most parts of the world. It is especially worse for women because people tend to think that the biological clock of women is passing by. So, to save you the dilemma of being answerable to your parents regarding marriage, we have summarized for you a few points on how to avoid marriage pressure. Now you can memorize a few draft answers in your head and repeat them like a parrot every time your parents or family members ask you when you are settling down.
Sometimes, you might feel that it is better to cave in to your parents’ wishes and just tie the knot with a suitable groom. Even though as a joke, it might sound like a safe idea, ideally it is not. Getting married at a time when you are not mentally ready to settle down might prove to be detrimental not only to your mental health but also to your future partner’s. If your ‘happily-ever-after’ does not turn out to be as happy as your parents thought it would, then you would be the one suffering and not your parents. And honestly, divorces can be messy, time-consuming, and expensive.
You must have a concrete idea of what your aim in life is. For instance, you must decide what is best for you: be it further educational pursuits, a better job, financial stability, maybe even better investments so that you can afford to pay for your wedding. You must have a concrete plan that can change your parents’ nagging into supporting your future decisions. Many women wish to get married, have children, and be supportive homemakers, but they choose it by choice. So, it is equally important for you to choose that life by choice and not by parental pressure.
Parents tend to see and assess situations from their perspective. But often do they forget that times have changed and, in a world, where women are striving hard to gain equal respect and opportunity as men, women must be as financially independent as men. In this case, constant clear communication with the family is important. Being defensive and rebellious hardly does the trick, but making your parents understand the importance of other things in your life at the moment, might gain your support.
It is of utmost importance that you are confident in yourself and your future endeavors. It is also important that you stick to your plans so that your parents can trust your instinct and are aware that you are doing what is right for you. Consistency is another important factor. Be consistent with your goals and make sure you show your parents that you are consistent with your efforts.
As we stated earlier, marriage is not something that can be rushed into. So, when you are considering marriage, we suggest you sit down, relax, and contemplate on what exactly do you want in life and especially from marriage. Marriage is not a sports competition that you need to win. Rather, it is a decision that, it goes wrong, might cost you irrecoverable damage.
Do not feel embarrassed to attend your friend’s or cousin’s wedding alone. Rather attend to the invitation and enjoy yourself because when the right time comes, you will know.
Here are some things that you need to keep a note of.
Once you are financially independent, you become your decision-maker. Thus, you must take full responsibility for your actions and act according to your benefits. As we grow older, we realize that it is impossible to please everyone, and compromising your happiness and future to make others happy is nothing but a foolish move.
Relationships do not guarantee happiness, similarly being single does not make you unhappy. Many relatives and friends think that if you are the only one in your social circle who is still not married, you might be unhappy. It is important to break that stigma around being single. You might feel lonely on certain days, but being lonely does not equate to sadness either. Some people tend to enjoy their own company. Happiness, if not found within oneself, cannot be found in others.
According to age-old traditions that have become more or less systematic in our society, marriage is considered more as an achievement than a bond of emotional fulfillment between two people. For some people, marriage might mean happiness, out of which they expect children to be born. However, happiness and emotional fulfillment are subjective and mean different things to different people. Marriage and children are not competitions that can be won or lost. Therefore, decisions like marriage should not be taken hastily if you have no desire to commit to it.
What preconceived notions your family, relatives, and friends have about you should not bother you much. If you want to keep your sanity intact, you must avoid people who jump to conclusions to term you ‘unhappy’, ‘depressed’, or ‘lonely’.
Similarly, when you are trying to find out what is best for you in the long run, their opinions should not influence your life choices.
As William Shakespeare said, “Love does not love which alters when it alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove” and sometimes it takes time to find the ultimate ‘love’ and it is absolutely fine because “Let me not into the marriage of true minds.”
Also read- Avoid The Marriage Talk