Use Your Finger To Claim Your Body And Climax From Self-Pleasure: A Guide For Women Who Have Never Orgasmed

4 min read

Self Pleasure
Pratigya Dhali
Wanderlust. Bibliophile. Foodie. Writing is a way of escaping the mundane for me!

There is a lot of things we do with our fingers, knitting, kneading, voting, typing and swiping, finger brushing teeth or hair, comforting a crying baby, or even licking a good ol’ pasta sauce and sometimes something kinkier off our digits. You can Self Pleasure yourself anywhere, anytime not in the public eye, please! 

But one thing that doesn’t make it to any list, is what fingers can do to the female body. 

And no… we aren’t really talking about contouring and blending make up and night creams, but something more intimate, more visceral and certainly, 100 percent more satisfying.

Statistics that show the deep-rooted self pleasure

A world that runs on numbers and stats, often miss out that over 10% to 15% of women have never… wait for it…orgasmed!

Yes, you read it right and even for those of us who do climax, we aren’t really satisfied with the journey or the duration. Cum’on, you blink and miss it orgasms, aren’t what this beautiful body is made for, remember, the fabled multiple orgasms!

To orgasm, the mind and body need to work in tandem, and can we really blame our partners for not knowing how to read these two factors, when most of the time we are only confused about it!.

Research has pointed out that a whopping 75% of women, never orgasm from coitus alone. 

This means there is a big, group of frustrated women who end up feeling inadequate. And that’s where the finger or fingers come to your rescue.

We fake it, to make it

And this is what brings us to the matter of fake orgasms. Because we don’t want to hurt the sentiments of our partners and as women, we are always conditioned to the pleasure of others before our own.

A study in the US indicated that 58.8% of the respondent has faked it at some point in life.

And what’s shocking is a woman’s body, especially her vagina, isn’t really for her self-pleasure, it’s for birthing a child and sexual insertion of a male penis for a man’s pleasure, hence non-hetero sex is frowned upon!

Hushed and silenced, moan at your own risk

So, when a man whips out his tool, we as a society rarely frown upon it, but if we talk about female masturbation and orgasm, the radicals will get their knickers in a knot.

In certain parts of the world, the discussion let alone the act of female sexuality is banned and prohibited and is even a criminal offence.

Self Pleasure

So, how do we exactly talk about something that is forbidden? 

Where do we get this relevant information- mothers don’t necessarily talk about it with their daughters, friends are equally clueless, and sex ed classes, well most parts of the world don’t have them!

So, we turn to porn.

Porn or adult videos are unrealistic, to begin with. Heavyset women, moaning and heaving, while playing with their anatomy and squirting. Now how many of us have squirted IRL?

It puts completely wrong expectations on us.

Why is female masturbation important?

Unlike men, who if they can’t cum, can’t procreate, isn’t the case with a lady. And that’s what makes it so unimportant to society.

Just imagine, you are in a sexless but loving marriage, you had a tough day at work meeting deadlines, household chores and kids have drained you out, so, you need to get off, literally.

How do you do it?

Does wham, bam, thank you sexual act relieve you of fatigue and frustration?

No, a thousand times NOOOO!

So, what does, a little self-pleasure maybe. Trust us, ladies, it can be as relaxing as a massage, and so much less expensive. *wink, wink*

So, wash your hands, put it inside your panties, and press, prod, poke, and push yourself with the right pressure and pace, that will make your baby pink painted toenails curl in self-pleasure.

How to go about it?

Sisters, unless you are suffering from physiological issues, hormonal imbalances, or recovering from PTSD and other past traumatic experiences, we have the guide that can help you climax!

Others, you need to consult an expert who can help you overcome the obstacles and a lot of strength from us to you.

Get to know your anatomy

You can take a mirror and take a look at it, trim your bush a little. Your lady parts need attention and adorning too.

So, you have the vulva– it houses the clitoris, labia, urethra, where you pee, and the opening of the vagina.

Then comes the pleasure centre clitoris– the bump that you can feel or see, and it engorges when blood rushes there during sexual stimulation. It has thousands of nerve endings and it’s at your service for sexual satisfaction.

Hands or toys for self-pleasure

Toys are good, but hands are better!

Self Pleasure

Sex toys are meant for self-pleasure but they can desensitise the entire experience. So, if you are a newbie, use those fingers.

Let’s begin

  • Get into the mood, dim the lights, light a candle, take a shower and get comfortable. Drink a glass of wine, if you are nervous!
  • Start by imagining your wildest fantasy. For some reading a page of erotica gets their hormones raging.
  • You can start trailing from your navel down with your fingertips or nails. Be light with your touch.
  • Make a victory sign, symbolic enough, and start pressing from your inner thigh towards the centre of your vaginal opening.
  • Use lube and move your finger in a circular motion across the clitoris, test the pressure that works for you. Drag your finger slowly from the base of the vagina towards the clitoris.
  • When you feel your vagina moistening, lightly press your fingertip inside. Don’t go full in at once.
  • If you are naturally lubricated enough, then hallelujah! Otherwise, use lubrication.
  • Test waters, pun intended, and then press ahead. 
  • While you fondle your breasts and rub your nipples, keep the pace of the thrust going. Try seeking the g-spot, vary the speed, try more than 1 finger. 
  • Take a break, edging works for women too. 
  • You can use a bolster to grind against, shower head or even your legs. You can keep your undies on and rub yourself from on top of the fabric.
  • Clench your muscles, like in Kegels.
  • Concentrate back on your clitoris, rub it horizontally, tap the hood, clench your labia.
Self Pleasure

Pro tips:

  1. Don’t think about orgasm, because it’s not a task. The more you think about it, the less likely you are to climax.
  2. It might not happen the first time you try it or even the second. Keep practising, do it twice a week, until you have well and truly mastered the art.
  3. There is a reduced chance of STI.
  4. You can self-pleasure yourself anywhere, anytime not in the public eye, please! 

This article wasn’t to condemn partner sex, but it was to unveil and empower women about their body and its fundamental right to-ORGASM!

We in little ways are entrapped in a misogynistic ambiance because even the representative photo of female masturbation shows a woman’s both hands above her head, so then who is touching her nether regions?

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