Brace yourself ladies- we are going to talk about a visit to the O-town! For women to achieve orgasm it can be quite a task and there is no proof that we have ‘cum’ unless you are a squirter. Men have it easy during sex, much easily aroused and even easier to climax. For us ladies, sexual arousal, satisfaction, and orgasm is a long drawn process and is an amalgamation of not only physical factors but also psychological, emotional and even environmental (where you are fornicating) factors. Porn or erotica isn’t exactly the correct guide to how and what female orgasm is- since it is play-acting.

How To Identify That You Have Orgasmed?

During orgasm, the blood vessels in your body dilate, especially in your genitals, and there is a surge of blood flow along with an increased heartbeat. The muscles down under or all over your body spasm as there is a release of all the built-up sexual tension, often you can feel breathless, tingling sensations in your body and a washed over feeling. When orgasm occurs, the brain releases dopamine and oxytocin- the chemicals that make you feel HAPPY!

You can’t really miss the feeling if you had it! About 40% of women have said that they have never experienced the BIG O ever, and it’s perfectly normal. Most of the time our own expectations, lack of communication among partners, and wrong methods make us miss the prize. Sex is a pleasure activity, you don’t need to make it a mission.

Everything About The Big O

According to researchers, Masters and Johnson’s female orgasm is a four-fold process:

1. Excitement

2. Plateau

3.  Orgasm

4.  Resolution

A female orgasm lasts anywhere between 13-50 seconds and unlike a man, women don’t have a refractory or recovery phase, so we become capable of multiple orgasms, with the right stimulation. Cosmopolitan says that there are over 18 kinds of orgasms to be achieved, but the majority of the women have felt these 4: 

  • Clitoral: It comes from stimulating the clitoris and popular opinion is that it’s best and one of the easier ways to achieve orgasm.
  • Vaginal: G-spot stimulation plays an important part in this kind of orgasm, fingers, sex toys along with penis can help achieve it.
  • Anal: There is an urgent need to pee, before orgasming, and the contractions aren’t felt in the genitals but around the anal sphincters
  • Combo: This is THE ultimate recipe for the big O- it involves stimulating the clit along with vagina or any other erogenous zone that works for you, the result is one of those heaving earth-shattering and ejaculating orgasms.
  • Others-erogenous zone: Kissing, nipple stimulation, stroking the nape of the neck, ears or any of the other erogenous zones, can be a huge turn and with long and proper attention is lavished on this part orgasms can be achieved.

Women Find It More Difficult To Achieve Orgasm

Not all of us are lucky enough to orgasm each time we have a romp, and it’s not always the dude’s fault, but yeah they could spend some extra time on us. But it has been found by Planet Parenthood that 1 out of 3- women find it hard to orgasm, especially when in their 20s. In over 50% of cases, vaginal penetration does not lead to orgasm, rather stimulation of the clitoris, either orally, with a toy or with fingers, has a greater chance of making a woman climax. Masturbation is one of the best ways to orgasm, and once you have figured out, what works best for you, share that secret with your partner. It has also been seen that mature women orgasm more.

Why Do Women Often Miss Out From Climaxing?

Medications Hamper Pleasure: certain medicines inhibit your ability to orgasm. Especially medications for stress, depression, and anxiety lowers libido.

P-in-V doesn’t always work: your partner just thrusting inside you doesn’t help. Ask him to take things slow and indulge in some foreplay.

Stress spoils sex: stress about work, life or sexual stress like whether you are doing the act properly or can you get pregnant or get some infection. Stressful thoughts can decrease your chances of orgasm. Often when you think too much about climaxing you kill your chances of orgasming IRL.

Lubes help: most women don’t produce enough lubrication, so a little assistance can help you attain pleasure.


The Positions That Best Help To Orgasm

  • Doggie style is one of the most primal positions and allows for much deeper penetration.
  • Cowgirl allows you to not only control thrust but lets your partner stimulate your clitoris and breasts.
  • Oral sex clitoral stimulation and attention to your inner thighs and other erogenous zones can pump you up to some mind-blowing orgasm, also eye contact can extremely intimate.
  • Missionary this traditional style can do wonder when done with proper attention to the clit and another erogenous zone.
  • Spooning not only allows anal penetration but some action on your clit with the fingers or with a vibrator, whatever- works for you.

Sex isn’t just about physical intercourse but also the emotional connection. So, leave those doubts and self-consciousness out of your bedroom. Remember that every woman is different, so are their bodies and needs. There can’t be a generalized rule to have sex. The fun lies in experimenting and finding what works best for you. So ladies don’t fake it, learn how best to achieve it!

Also Read: 10 Female Orgasm Pressure Points