We all wish our lives were like our favorite movies: the perfect romantic comedy with just the right mix of tension and passion, leading to the promised happy ending. But things always seem more simple in theory than they do in real life. The love between partners is necessary, of course, but just love is not enough. Relationships, though magical at the start, need the art of constant work and communication to keep things going.
But what happens when it just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere? How do you know when to stop putting in efforts and instead, prepare to say goodbye? It is never pleasant to break-up with someone you love. But sometimes, it is necessary, for the good of all people involved.
If you’re wondering whether it is finally the right time to break-up, here are some things that should always be considered.
It can be scary to think about breaking up. Every relationship goes through occasional rough patches. It is normal to contemplate about ending things. Not all couples end up going through it. Sometimes, it may become an incentive to discuss problems that you have ignored and come out of it even stronger.
However, there are several solid reasons to break-up with someone you love. These are signs that you shouldn’t ignore for the sake of keeping things comfortable. We tend to popularize the notion of fixing a relationship over and over. Breaking up does not mean you didn’t try hard enough.
So, why would you break-up with someone you love? Here are nine signs that it is time to break-up.
Trust is the thread that exists between two people, not to keep them bound, but to give them room to grow together. It is as important as love in a relationship. So, if your partner has cheated on you, it may be time to seriously consider ending things. Some couples work through this in therapy, but for many, this is the final straw. Knowing that your partner has lied to you in such a way can be mentally traumatizing.
If you are the one who has cheated on your partner, you should come clean and reflect on what has made you stray. A relationship with shattered trust cannot last long.
We all have heard the famous “opposites attract”. But real relationships are not a cliche. While your opposing views might have built room for passionate bantering initially, over time it can lead to exhaustion. Having different political or cultural views can lead to a lack of acceptance on both sides. This is especially true if your partner has harmful views that are racist, homophobic, etc. in nature.
While fighting is common in relationships, continuous fights indicate a lack of communication. If your first instinct is to argue with your partner rather than calmly discuss things, there is a problem, this is one of the signs that it is time to break-up with someone you love.
This is one of the significant reasons to break-up with someone you love. If you or your partner (s) are unable to be happy for each other’s success and cannot support the other’s ventures, things have gone wrong somewhere.
If you find yourself hesitating to share your achievements because you fear that they might mock you, it is time to reconsider.
The occasional jealousy could initiate some steamy times, but being constantly possessive is a sign of control issues. If your partner tries to control the way you dress or stop you from hanging out with your friends, they aren’t seeing you as a person, but as an object. If they keep checking your phone and questioning you, start questioning whether you are being respected as you deserve.
An abusive partner is never acceptable, no matter how lovingly they might treat you otherwise. This is one of the most serious reasons to break-up with someone you love. Abuse comes in several forms, not just limited to being physical. It is difficult to leave an abusive relationship, so reach out to a trusted individual to support you through it.
You friends and family don’t like them. This is a double-edged sword because often these views are out of prejudice than an actual concern. But there are times when your loved ones spot the red flags that may take years for you to spot. Talk to them and understand their side of things.
Depending on each other is natural but becoming extremely reliant on your partner to the point that you both stop being your person is a sign that you need space. Why would you break-up with someone you love even now? Well, co-dependency leads to loss of identity which becomes a ground for unhealthy relationships.
You may only be with your partner because you don’t want to be single. If you are unhappy with yourself and use a relationship as a way to get happiness, it is unfair to both of you. You can only achieve true content once you make peace with yourself. Using another person is never a solution.
Bottom line, if you are still in a relationship only because it is a routine and habit, even in the absence of feelings, either try rekindling the spark or ending it for good.
Now that you have your reasons to break-up with someone you love, remember to not jump into it right away. Breaking up should be done delicately.
Here are some things to remember:
In the end, do not let your feelings towards your break-up change the way you treat your partner. Both you and they deserve respect and care at the end, possibly even more than you did before.
The days after breaking up are always the hardest. Feelings are still fresh and the bruises have not begun to heal. Thus, it important to know how to cope with breaking up with someone you love. There are things you should keep in mind so that you don’t spiral or end up making decisions based purely on emotions.
Know that healing is a journey. It may take months or years before you can visit the same places you would visit with them. Things in your apartment might still remind you of them. Some days will feel easy, and others will take you three steps back and that’s okay.
Progress is not linear. Progress is learning to live with yourself and your decision day after day, as you stumble and fall. Somewhere along the way, love yourself too, hurt and fears and all.
You tried and it didn’t work out. What matters is that you still have you.
Also Read; Mistakes To Avoid After A Breakup