Marriage is a sacred vow promising a long term commitment to another person facing all the ups and downs of life together.
Getting married is always full of fun, laughter, and happiness. Happy marriage requires dedication and the willingness of both the partners.
According to Ashley Davis Bush who specializes in couples’ therapy, relationships just need attention and intention. She also compared the relationships to a sapling that needs full time nurturing so that it can grow into a beautiful tree someday.
Keys to a succesful and a happy marriage
There is no need to worry if there is any disagreement sometimes. There will always be some differences in opinions between the partners. It depends upon the couple how they want to tackle the situation.
To stay happy in a marriage, during a fight, the partners have to listen to each other’s views and try to understand, know the intensity level of disagreement and try to make amends with each other.
Everyone, especially women have a lot of expectations from their spouses and it is quite natural. According to Ellen Chute, it is important to be able to identify and accept the strengths and weaknesses of a spouse and set realistic expectations.
Setting realistic expectations will reduce both disagreements and situations that are unpleasant for the couple.
Never expect the spouse to fulfill every need required from a human relationship. Maintaining a friendship with your girlfriends and other friends as well when your spouse isn’t available is advisable.
According to Pawelski, relying on the spouse leads to being in an over-dependent relationship where there is no growth at an individual level. And to be in a healthy relationship, couples should “complement” rather than “complete” each other.
Of course, couples who complete each other is always the dream of every couple. But the reality is always different so understanding the situation and acting accordingly is a wise decision.
It is necessary to make memories, share new experiences with the spouse. For example, couples can research and decide to learn a new skill or activity in which both of them are interested. Along with learning something, couples also evolve together.
Living together changes the dynamics of the relationship a lot and might make some people take their partners for granted. A gentle reminder of the love the couple shares is all every woman wants to hear. Appreciating for even the little efforts given by the spouse is important.
Rushing into getting intimate is good but sometimes going slow has its charm. According to Ian Kerner, Ph.D. time should be spent on foreplay only and restricting on going beyond the second base will spice things up.
Spending time at home and discussing pending bills, work-life, kids is important but can also become monotonous. So, going out and spending time together like a getaway for the weekend will definitely bring the spark in the relationship.
The ultimate secret to a happy marriage is communication between spouses. Talking to each other clarifies all sorts of misunderstandings if any present.
Otherwise, if there is a gap in communication, it will be difficult for the couple to understand each other which ultimately will lead to a fight. Hence most of the fights in a marriage can be simply avoided by talking to one another.
Talking and fulfilling fantasies
Talking about fantasies with your spouse can be intimidating but opening up and discussing each other’s fantasies leads to the growth of intimacy and proving one’s mutual trust.
Expect and accept the changes
According to Pawelski, to be truly happy in a marriage, couples must be prepared to grow and adapt to each other. It can be said with time; people change one way or another. Couples who can accept the change and support one another tend to be ideally happy in a relationship.
Maintaining sexual loyalty is a major key to a happy marriage. Allowing sexual fantasies about another individual destroys the sexual faithfulness towards the spouse. Hence it should be avoided even if it seems harmless.
As we all know, wine tastes better with age. Just like that relationships turn out to be better with time if proper attention and care is taken. Also, life is really short, so we all should try to see the brighter side of everything.