What women really want? This is a question that Freud asked but didn’t have an answer and since then it is a question that has been asked innumerable times in different contexts but without any proper conclusive answer. Men find women to be extremely complex beings, difficult to fathom. As a woman, I feel, that men are sheer lazy to really understand their women. Our needs and desires are extremely simple, all you need to do, dear men, is pay attention and be sensitive. One thing that baffles men regularly is how women really feel about sex. Sex is a primal necessity for both men and women. A lot has been written and shown about a man’s sex drive, but women have always been portrayed as a vassal to a man’s desire. But is that an honest interpretation? Read on to find out. Sex for women starts in the brain and is controlled by an intricate mechanism of hormones To understand sexual desires and drive, we need to first understand the functioning of our brain (yeah you heard it right, brain and not genitalia). The left half of our brain is referred to as the male half which secrets dopamine that makes you feel motivated and exhilarated. While the right or female half of the brain is associated with sensual, passionate and emotional feelings. Neurotransmitter serotonin or happy hormones is secreted here. Women need twice as much affection than their male partners to feel content. women often take a greater effort in pleasing their partners, and if their hard work is appreciated it will make her feel exhilarated. With regular sex, both sides of a woman’s brain become equally excited and it makes her feel more energetic and industrious. A minimum of 2-3 times a week sex is required. Intercourse is one of the most intimate ways of communication between partners and it can lead to greater levels of intimacy, companionship, and trust. The Oxycontin released in the brain when having sex, makes one crave for more physical pleasure. The four stages of sexual experience Sex therapists and researchers have found that in most women sex is an extremely pleasurable activity, and has divided this into 4 stages. 1. Excitement: There is an increase in muscle tension and heart rate, your face looks flushed, increased blood flow in the breasts and nipples, and also in the pelvic region. Women also feel increasing wetness in their vagina. 2. Plateau: The heart rate, rapid breathing, and increased clitoral sensitivity is experienced by a woman in this phase. 3. Orgasm: This phase is characterized by involuntary muscle spasms, gasping for breath and contraction of the vaginal muscles and uterus. There is also a sudden release of sexual tension. Women are capable of multiple orgasms. 4. Resolution: There is a feeling of satiety. Women think about sex much differently than men, as it is not only a physical act but a whole gamut of different factors. Often fantasies create a greater sense of arousal than an actual romp in the bed. For ladies, the feeling of desirability and romance makes her more sexually excited. Gentlemen, a little appreciation or extended foreplay will get you a long way in bed. It is a fact that women, in general, need more time to get aroused and orgasm isn’t a regular occurrence for us, sadly. So rushing for the finale, often leaves women dissatisfied and being repulsed by sex. Also, female partners are bogged down multiple chores, so to cut through the distractions and make her feel good about herself can be quite a chore but extremely rewarding. It has been found that the maximum proportion of women associate sex with love- the most vulnerable act. Though, casual sex is quite common and extremely gratifying for immediate quenching of physical desires. In the long run, a woman will enjoy sex with a partner more who will bring her sense of comfort and trust. It is a part of her relationship and not the pivotal point, a way for her to show her affection and appreciation for her man. The factors that contribute to maximum female satisfaction · Being aware of what YOU like: You should be able to know exactly what turns you on and be able to communicate the same to your partner. Masturbation is a quick-fire way to understand your body and its pleasure point. This also allows you to get experimental in bed. · Being confident in her body: If a lady isn’t confident about her body and doesn’t feel attractive, then she will not be able to enjoy herself. Exercise and yoga will make you feel good about yourself as well as make you feel energized, and a little extra vigor in bed never hurt anyone. · Emotional security: Sex is a means that allows ladies to connect not only physically but also at an emotional, and spiritual level. So if you are in a loving and trusting relationship, sack sessions can get invigorating. Stephen Snyder, an eminent sex and relationship therapist has eloquently said that “many women don’t just want sex, they want to feel desired first.” To make her feel wanted, women often like the thrill of the chase, she likes playing hard to get and would want her partner to woo her. Men are often unable to fathom the psychological factors that contribute to a woman’s libido. Sexual intimacy for women isn’t just a carnal desire but a combination of a variety of factors. So next time a man asks what exactly makes you orgasm, make him read this!