Is Self Loathing Common In Women? And How To Beat It!

3 min read

self loathing
Mimansha Ranjan
A Poetess of the wild type. Potterhead. Bewildered by the Cosmos and Space. A Biochemist by day and a writer by night.

In this glamourous world; everyone wants to be flawlessly beautiful. We see actresses on movie screens. Their poreless skin and long hair. Every common woman wants to achieve a body like some Victoria Secret model. And when we are not able to; we start loathing ourselves. 

Is self-loathing common among women?

Why Do We Compare Ourselves To These Models?

Why do women loathe themselves? There are many reasons why we compare ourselves to other models.

  • We feel that we will never be as beautiful as them. It seems as if they are perfect. Maybe they are not.
  • We hear our partners complimenting the beauty of these models. We instantly feel less attractive and less appealing.
  • We get jealous of how perfect their lifestyle is; maybe it’s not true. We consider ourselves unfortunate. Self-loathing in women is very common.
  • We all desire long legs, thin waist, round bums and whatnot.

Is Self-loathing Okay?

Once you have started to believe that you are not as beautiful as a runway model. You are doomed. You will get trapped in the vicious circle of self-loathing.

  • You will start hating your body, your skin..
  • Your confidence will decline. Self-loathing in women is natural.
  • You might start isolating yourself. It will lead to avoiding people. You will make excuses to avoid meetings and socialising.
  • You might even go into depression.
  • Your relationships might start to fall apart.
  • You will not be enthusiastic about socialising anymore.
  • Self-loathing can damage your soul.

How To Avoid Self Loathing?

It might be difficult to avoid self-loathing completely. But we have come up with something that might help you.

Think Positively

Why do women loathe themselves? You don’t have to hate yourself because you feel that somebody else is prettier than you. Instead of counting your flaws, start acknowledging positive things about yourself. You don’t have to put yourself through this rigmarole of negativity.

You Are Unique

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a perfect body or skin. You are unique. You have your own features that are distinct and rare. You should be proud of your uniqueness. Self-loathing in women is because of the pressure put on us by society.

Don’t Believe What Others Say

You don’t have to pay heed to what people are saying. Don’t let anyone judge you. A real friend would never ask you to change. Be around people who are perfectly fine with your flaws.

The Grass Is Not Greener On The Other Side

Do you feel that models have got it all? Well, think again. They have restrictions on what they eat. They have to work out for extremely long hours.

self loathing

They are always covered in tonnes of makeup. Maybe they are not happy as well. Maybe they desire a common or simpler life.

Avoid It

If you think watching a series or movie makes you hate yourself then avoid it. You don’t have to go through it. Switch it off. Watch something else. If it disturbs you just avoid it 

Be Grateful

Instead of complaining about things that are wrong with you. Start appreciating the good things. You have eyes, nose, mouth and a working body. That is enough. Be grateful.

Work It Out

If you feel that the current version of yourself is not the best then work hard. Be the person you want to be. You can gain weight or lose it. You can always be a better version of yourself.

Does It Matter?

Is beauty everything? Aren’t there other things like kindness, humility, hard work and passion. We should encourage a person’s talent, not how they look. Why do women loathe themselves? We need to start believing in ourselves.

Other Things That We Are Jealous Of

We are not only envious of a model’s look, but her house and cars. The person she is dating. Jealousy is a common feeling. We tend to desire more and more. It is human nature that we are never satisfied with what we have.

Happiness Is Inside You

You don’t have to look for happiness somewhere else. You have to search for it within. Stop blaming other people’s success for your failure. Whatever happens to you; it is because of your actions. If you want to be happy; start being happy. Don’t wait for somebody else to make you happy.

Failure

You might start loathing yourself even more if you have encountered a recent failure. It could be a failure in your job or relationship. Failure can further reduce your confidence and lead you to self-hatred. Failure is inevitable. We are humans; we tend to make mistakes.

Don’t Hate Other Women

Don’t hate anyone just because they are happy. You should not be hating other women because they have a great body or skin. As a woman, start supporting and praising other women. Hating other women will not do any good for you.

Your Tangent Is Different

You don’t have to indulge in self-hatred. So what if you are not fair? Or tall? Or thin? These conventional beauty standards cannot change you. Don’t let it affect you. You don’t have to loathe yourself because of this. Maybe the whole point of your existence is different. Maybe you are meant to do something big; something different. You are special.

People Who Love You

Always be around people who love you. But also for anyone to love you; you have to start loving yourself. People who can find good in you. They can make you remember what a great person you are when you have forgotten it. These people are the best. Surround yourself with these people. Your family, friends; they will always make you feel good about yourself.

self loathing

It is quite natural to loathe yourself. Self-hatred can arise from hidden insecurities. But it can become a bad habit in no amount of time. You need to start praising and complimenting other women. Understand their struggles and sacrifices. Stop being jealous of other women’s success. Women should support other women.

Is self-loathing common among women? Maybe yes; maybe no. Whatever you see on tv is not real. There’s a lot of effort by different people behind making a model look so pretty. You cannot start loathing yourself after watching that.

Beauty is perspective. It is in the eye of the beholder. Never hate yourself. Never think yourself to be less than anyone else. You are a strong and independent woman.