Do you find yourself falling in love easily? Does this lead you to have more heartbreak than the average person? Let’s find out if you’re really falling too hard too fast and how to not fall in love too easily.
According to science, there are three reasons for falling in love. These stages are triggered by the release of hormones in our brains. Noradrenaline, dopamine, and phenylethylamine.
The first stage: Lust
Yes, lust often feels like you’re falling in love but in reality, this is triggered by the release of testosterone in men and estrogen in women.
The second stage: Attraction
Don’t mistake attraction for lust! This is the attraction to someone not just sexually, but also their personality. Attraction makes you feel giddy and lightheaded almost as though you’re on drugs.
The third and final stage: Attachment
Attachment is the stage that solidifies the bond between two people falling in love and makes it concrete.
Now that we’ve identified if you’re truly in love, how do you stop falling in love easily? After all, there’s no guarantee that your feelings will be reciprocated and it’s always wiser to avoid a broken heart.
Here are some tips to not fall in love too easily or too fast:
1. Ask yourself if you need love right now
To fall in love and have another person share important aspects of your life is a massive commitment. Ask yourself if you have the time or effort required to maintain that commitment towards a relationship. Or are you too busy and better off focusing on your career or other important issues in your life?
2. Choose yourself
Do you find yourself making sacrifices for someone who doesn’t reciprocate and constantly lets you down? Maybe it’s time to prioritize yourself. Take some time away from the relationship to focus on yourself. Rethink your decisions, and if you’re not happy in the relationship, you’re in no way obligated to stay in it.
3. Do not Panic
Just because your last relationship hurt you and left you out in the cold doesn’t mean this one will too. Remind yourself that it’s completely okay to feel the way that you are and that this is a whole new person. If you’re worried even after this, ask yourself if you’re going too fast and get to the root of why you’re worried.
4. Distract yourself
Immerse yourself in other things that make you happy. Be it your friends, art, work, reading, or even Netflix! Instead of checking your phone every two minutes waiting for a text from them, keep yourself busy by doing things that are interesting and fun to you.
5. Talk to someone
There is nothing that feels worse than carrying your burdens alone. Remind yourself that you’re not in it by yourself. Talk to trusted family members and friends and ask them for advice. Even if they can’t give you any, it always helps to lift the weight off your shoulders! If you don’t want to confide in them, there is always the option of seeing a therapist.
A therapist is trained to see you out through difficult paths in your life and lead you out to the light at the end of the tunnel. Seeing a therapist would help clear out the mess in your head and make you feel much calmer.
6. Don’t jump in headfirst
Don’t think of them as your lover. Yes, we know it sounds contradictory, but try to think of your significant other as a friend. Try to get to know them the way you would get to know a friend. This will help you get to know their flaws and negative character traits. Doing this can make you avoid falling in love too easily without knowing the red flags.
7. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment
Of course, you will fantasize about the future and enjoy thinking about what kind of pets you can adopt together. However, thinking too far ahead, even in fantasy, can make you fall in love too easily and faster than them, leading to heartbreak when you learn you’re not on the same page.
8. Don’t compromise just yet
Remember, you’re not in love yet. You don’t need to compromise with your partner’s flaws for an imaginary future. You have to consciously make decisions regarding your relationship.
9. Be impartial
Try to look at the situation in the third person and give yourself the same advice you would give to your best friend. If you wouldn’t let them text back five times in a row, don’t do it either.
10. Do they add value to your life?
Do they really make your life better by just existing in it? Or are you just deeply infatuated? Are you in love or are you in love with the idea of being in love? Ask yourself these important questions and evaluate if you are trying to fill some bridges in your life by falling in love or are you just trying to cover up old wounds by finding someone.
11. Recognise old patterns
If this isn’t your first relationship you probably already know how your mind will react to certain things that they say or do. If you sense yourself falling into old habits of staying quiet when they make you unhappy, don’t make the same mistakes again.
12. Love or a rebound?
If you’ve gotten out of a relationship recently, chances are, you are seeking to fill a void left by the absence of your ex. Don’t mistake this for love and try to focus on things apart from romance. Rebounds are usually short-lived and leave you feeling guilty. Instead, try to work on a project or develop a new skill to fill up your free time.
If you find yourself getting too attached in just a small amount of time, chances are they are too! Don’t forget to communicate and talk about your feelings. If you both feel the same way it will provide some relief to you and you can figure out the next steps together instead of feeling all alone.
14. Let yourself fall freely
After communicating if you two find yourselves on the same road, fall in love freely, deeply, and madly! There’s nothing wrong with falling in love fast and hard. Allow yourself to break barriers in your mind and explore new realities by getting to know each other and creating a strong bond.
Love is a wonderful bonding experience, especially with the right person. But always lookout for red flags to make sure you don’t fall in love too easily and are taking things in the right place!