Divorce can be a very tricky business. It is full of major lifestyle changes and emotions. Divorce emotions can make or break you. Doesn’t matter how strong you are or how convinced you are of the divorce, the day it finally happens, you will realize that whatever time you had spent with that person won’t matter anymore.
You and your person won’t be the same entity anymore and sometimes thinking about it can be devastating. If you do not know how to control these emotions properly, they can easily deteriorate your lifestyle and your day-to-day activities.
On the contrary, some people even choose to suppress their emotions, which is not a great coping mechanism. All the emotions that you might be suppressing today are building up and getting ready for a fierce outburst. So it is better to keep your emotions in check by following the right ways of coping from a divorce.
Reasons for Feeling Different Divorce Emotion
Unclear why you are consumed by a hoard of emotions following your divorce? We are here to guide you as to why you are feeling this way.
1. Still being in love
It is easier to let go of a person you don’t love, but when you love a person it is very difficult to let go of them. Even if you are willing to work in a marriage but the other person is not, you cannot do anything apart from getting out of it.
2. Codependency
Codependency can be a major reason why getting out of a marriage is so difficult. A person who is codependent with the other might need the other person for everything whatsoever. There are cases where a female stops working after getting married to take care of the family and kids since she gets the assurance that her spouse will take care of her and her family. She stops growing professionally to grow as a homemaker.
3. Lifestyle change
There can be major lifestyle changes after you go through a divorce. You had been living with your spouse and your family in one home and sharing the same bedroom, bathroom, and sometimes even a closet. You had been sharing the same dreams of raising your kids together in someplace nice but suddenly all that needs to change.
The Different Divorce Emotion Stages
Going through a divorce emotion abuse is most likely on the table for most. Nobody deserves to go through a divorce and feel things that a person does after getting separated or even meanwhile. Divorce emotions can become a threat from the early stages as you start realizing that you might not end up with that person. The divorce emotion process can be a lengthy one and can be time-consuming. There are five stages of divorce motions that people go through but might deny it.
Also Read: Impact Divorce of on Family Members & How To Deal With It?
1. Denial
We might not be consciously aware of the fact that there are a lot of things that happen to us where we go through this stage of denial. In the case of a divorce, denial could take place when people are constantly fighting and know this thing within themselves that the relationship won’t last very long. They tend to avoid the fact that their relationship is getting toxic and instead of getting out of it, they try to indulge themselves in the same toxicity.
2. Anger
When we talk about anger in terms of a divorce, we can say that it follows the stage of denial. After the person is made aware that their marriage is going to end, they can either accept it calmly or get angry about it. Anger is very common while getting a divorce because you want to blame the misery of your emotions on someone else. If not paid attention to sooner, it can turn into aggression and violent behavior.
3. Bargaining
Bargaining succeeds the stage of anger. After you are done with your anger and realize that it doesn’t matter how angry you are with the person, things will settle down. This is where your flight or fight instinct kicks in. Here if you decide to fight, you start looking for everything that you can do to save your relationship and convince your partner to not go through with the divorce.
4. Depression
Since you now realize that you are going to get separated, it can get overwhelming. Realizing that your entire life is going to change in front of your eyes can be overbearing for even the strongest minds. There can be times where you might not even feel like going out or even taking a walk for that matter. You might not want to work or do anything that distracts you from the current situation.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance takes time is respective to the situation you are in. Talking about a divorce, the acceptance can even take years. You might be circling the same four stages for a long time until you finally accept that everything is over and you need to start moving on with your life. Once you realize the fact that moving on is the only thing you can do now, things will start changing for you.
Read:
How to Move Past Divorce Emotion?
With divorce emotion process is very important. So, here are some of the ways you can move on from the wounds of a divorce.
1. Ask for help
You shouldn’t be ashamed of needing the help you deserve. Everybody needs help some time or the other. Even if therapy is not your thing you can easily go up to your friend and talk to them about things.
2. Focus on the positive
Even though getting out of a divorce can be very frustrating, focusing on the positive may help. Rather than focusing on the fact that you are getting separated, why not focus on the fact that better life and opportunities are ahead?
3. Forgive yourself
It’s necessary to forgive yourself for the healing process to begin. Even if you had been the reason for the divorce, make amends and move on. It’s extremely necessary to be on good terms with yourself.
Also read: Marriage And Men’s Health
Divorce is not an easy thing to go through and nobody should go through it. For the people who think that filing for a divorce is easy, let us remind you that it is not! It is one of the most difficult things that a person has to go through in his or her life. People bargain over relationships for long even before they are married, but here we are talking about not just two souls connecting but their families too. This is why divorce emotions can be very overwhelming and need to be taken care of the right way.