Nowadays couples have stopped being vanilla in their bedroom (or anywhere else that they choose to copulate) and have become more experimental. Toys, dildos, oral and anal sex have all become part of the menu.
The topic of anal sex is extremely polarising, you can either hate it or love it, but certainly cannot ignore it. Unlike P-in-V sex, anal sex is extremely gender inclusive. Whatever be your sexual orientation-gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight- everyone can have fun this way! 36 percent of couples under the age of 45 have tried this form of coitus.
So whether you are a veteran or newbie, it never hurts to be armed with some useful anal sex tips for first time. Read on:
Sex isn’t just an intimate event but an extremely personal, so if you have any inhibition, remember you can always refuse. It is your body and you should listen to what it has to say. Do not be pressured by your partner into anything that makes you uncomfortable. Anal sex is having a penis or objects in your anus or butt. The possibility of getting hurt in this sex position is more than the other traditional methods since the hole is not meant to get things stuffed in it.
Understanding the do’s and don’ts
- Anal sex isn’t just limited to having a penis in your anus, but there are other options like fingering, rimming (oral for the uninitiated), and sex toy like vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs can also be used. The anus is an extremely erogenous zone, with hundreds of nerve endings. Many women have said that they had mind-blowing orgasms. For men too it can be extremely exhilarating since they have a P-spot like the female G-spot, which can only be reached from behind.
- You don’t get wet there-unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t have any natural lubrication. Penetration without lubrication is extremely painful and can lead to internal tear and injury.
- Don’t mix the two-the anus is home to a variety of GI bacteria, hepatitis virus, and sexually transmitted viruses, so don’t go from the anus to vagina directly. You can end up with UTI or vaginal infections, and ladies those two are extremely dangerous. Wash the toys or your hand and use a different condom when moving from anus to vagina.
- Sensitivity is more inside the anus- the tissues inside the anus are extremely delicate and it can easily tear and cause minor bleeding, and if proper hygiene isn’t maintained can lead to the spreading of infection.
- Sphincter to guard-the sphincter that keeps the rectal opening closed, needs to be first relaxed with the humungous amount of foreplay so that the process becomes enjoyable for you.
Anal Sex Myths & Concerns
- Will, there be any…eeeks…poop- if you aren’t suffering from any digestive issue or having a bad stomach day, then rest assured there won’t be any faecal matter to embarrass you. But if there are still concerns you can do an enema procedure, (not regularly). Also, it won’t be an issue when you visit the loo the next time, though it might burn a little after the first time.
- Bleeding case- there might be some blood the first or second time. But it should be extremely nominal. If it continues for a long time or if the bleeding is more, then its time to visit a doctor.
- How bad it hurt-hurting does depends on your personal pain threshold. Start with fingers and toys before moving to the bigger stuff! *wink wink*.
Things you have to remember
1. Lubes– means lubrication and lubrication is of the paramount importance for anal sex. Use water-based lubes, and not oil-based like Vaseline or oil, otherwise, there is a higher chance of condom rupturing. Without proper lubrication, things can get extremely painful.
2. Condoms– always use a condom when having anal sex, even if you are monogamous, as the chances of infection spreading are high. Use a separate condom when having vaginal sex or oral sex. You can also use dental dams for protection.
3. Hygiene-wash your hands and toys before you insert them in the vagina. Sexually transmitted diseases are most common in anal sex. The receiver or bottom is at a higher risk of contracting HIV and other STI than the one on top. The other STIs that you can be infected with are gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, genital warts, and herpes.
4. No to numbing creams– as much as you like the idea of numbing creams, stay away from it. The pain is a way to let you know when things have gone out of hand.
How To Have Anal Sex
· Be comfortable
It is extremely important to be comfortable with your partner and see whether you both are on the same page. Keep talking to them and be relaxed, as it will help your body to open up and have a much comfortable moment. Stop if the pain or experience overwhelms you.
· Start slow
First, try to get comfortable on your own, and then you can try with your partner. Start with a finger, dildo and then go for the entire deal.
· Keep your hands clean
Long nails and dirty hands are a complete no-no! You don’t want to be infected.
That is THE most important thing to keep handy when having anal sex.
· The positions that help
If you are a beginner, try sitting on top, so that you can control the level and pace of penetration. Lying on your stomach, doggie-style and missionary are some of the other positions that you can try. Clitoral stimulation can also help women to relax and enjoy.
Many women have said that anal sex is a huge turn on since its “the perfect balance of dangerous and sexy”. Though there is a stigma associated with anal sex if the two partners are comfortable then go ahead and have a raunchy romp!