Your Partner’s Absence: Creates Longing Or Causes Separation???

2 min read

Isha Surabhi
An English majors graduate, former editor to two magazines, former Senior Content Writer to DU Times and a dedicated litterateur, for whom writing is the most aesthetic form of expression!

Having been absent for so long in a relationship post-break or breakup, with the idea of serving realization! This is something really common and something that we all have done. But does it really work? Do they really realize things or it’s just us wondering that? Do they really miss us? 

Well, this is something we need to find an answer to.

Absence: a way of giving the desired and required space to a partner in order to have things viewed from a distance! It can be of any form, either one in which you have to separate voluntarily or in which you have to get separated circumstantially, etc. But in any case, you have an undercurrent fear and that is very obvious. Humans are a race, which tends to search and seek things out in the open and it’s an inherent human nature to keep moving with time. So, expecting someone to stop, and wait would be a stagnant idea and hence impossible for humans. But one thing is for sure when partners are at a distance from each other, longing grows and you tend to value them more. It is because being together in one space and time, makes your psyche, take things for granted; but when the same happens in a different time and space, you start realizing the importance of that person. 

According to Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology- Being near your partner is similar to repeatedly eating the same food every time. You know it’s your favorite but you lose interest owing to the law of diminishing marginal utility. So, in such cases separating for a while can do wonders, it won’t necessarily bring positive results always, but definitely brings the right result. It may either make you learn why you should be separate or will make you realize why you two are perfect for each other.

Long-distance relationships or taking a break, these concepts aren’t alien to the 21st century anymore. Since the worldly throng is thriving towards career-driven path more, less importance is being assigned to family life and togetherness. So, this has become something really common.

According to the data, nearly 5 million citizens live in a long-distance marital relationship. And most of this population belongs to the 25-30 club. Also, a recent study holds that more than 30% of the people in colleges have a long-distance relationship. So, whether it’s about leaving your school-days love and coming to college along with them as your long-distance partner or marrying someone and flying overseas for a career boost, it’s all so prevalent.

So, in order to keep things afloat, you need to put in extra effort when it’s about a long break. One needs to be in regular contact and connection to keep the spark ablaze. Otherwise, finding another option is not a tough deal for either of you owing to the survival needs, and the need to fill that void space in your life. It’s not always that the person wants to forget you, but it’s about the human tendency to fossilize things in order to move forward.

If we look at the new way out to this problem, it is not to get into such a relationship! People have become more selective and choose partners at their convenience. But is that really a way out? No, because you never know whom would you fall for! 

So, in such cases, the best suggestion would be to put in honest efforts to keep that spark ablaze. Sending regular morning texts, showing care towards them proves to be a good way of reminding them about you. Because you cannot be there but the memories can be, so try sending such things. A daily WhatsApp message, a good morning text, a video call, all of this can help you prevent the separation. And both of you should have an end goal to reunite and a definite determination towards reaching that goal. 

Also, one important fact is that if you do not have an end goal of uniting or if you do not have a strong foundation for your relationship, it will definitely get zapped. For the skyscraper to be immovable, one needs to lay a strong base foundation. So, keep a check on that. 

In a nutshell, if you know how to fill the void that distance creates, and if you possess that level of patience and understanding where you can keep things going, then nothing can part your ways with your better half! 

Keep visiting our site for more such answers to unreckonable questions that your mind has!