How to become virgin again
You were once crazily in love, but then things didn’t work out and you were left heartbroken. You swore off all romantic relationships and vowed to remain single. Being single can be extremely empowering especially for women- you rediscover yourself and can completely focus on your professional and personal growth. You seem to enjoy life.
But singlehood is like a double-edged sword- you enjoy the perks associated with being single, but you also become lonely. You begin to crave company, especially during festive seasons like NYE or Valentine’s Day, or just after a bad day in office, or maybe a Sunday afternoon, when you wanna cuddle and do Netflix, and not just binge-watch it alone.
If you have been single for far too long, then it becomes extremely difficult to get into the dating game once again. Your Prince Charming won’t just get delivered at your doorstep. You need to haul your ass and make an effort. Remember, just because you had one bad relationship (or even two), it doesn’t mean you cannot have your happily ever after.
So, how do you know that you have been single for too long? Read on to find the signs:
The Exes Are Finally In The Past
You have cried your hearts, lungs, and spleen out over your failed romantic endeavours. Gone are the days when you have dissected their virtues and vices, and have even stopped stalking them and their SOs on social media. Though you might still once in a while check their pictures, it is rare and far in between.
Your exes have also been with a few people since then, so if you ever bump into them, you will be just a distant friend.
The Thought Of Sharing Your Space, Especially The Bed Makes You Cringe
You are sprawled on your bed like a starfish, and the only thing that can share your bed is the innumerable pillows and the gadgets. A man- there isn’t enough, space buddy. Spooning or cuddling with your bolster seems more enticing than with a flesh and bone person.
You Have Been Declared A Virgin Once More
It started with being a dry month, which turned into a year, and now you have lost count of the last time you had some action. It almost seems like you forgot how to kiss or make love to a real person, and not just masturbate.
The one-night stands were things for your younger self, and frankly speaking the effort for a quickie isn’t really worth it. As you age, you start seeking emotional involvement prior to physical association.
You Can Get Dressed In A Jiffy
Appearances don’t matter anymore. Those sexy dresses have been replaced with something casual and comfortable. The sexy, albeit uncomfortable lingerie, are no longer in existence. You have simply given up in trying to make an impression or catch the roving eyes of potential partners.
Friends & Family Have Stopped Expecting & Asking About Your “Special Someone”
You no longer have a “plus one” invitation for weddings and parties, they know you are going to waltz in solo, so why waste a place setting. TBH, you have stopped getting offended at their blatant acceptance of your singlehood.
Even the pesky, relatives have stopped inquiring about your impending marriage. Your parents have made peace of not being able to see their future grandkids.
Even the good intentions of your friends in setting you up with potential partners have failed innumerable times that they have stopped. Family occasions guarantee you spending half your time talking to strangers who are single or near your age.
If your parents start matchmaking, then it is a sign that you have really been single for just too long!
Netflix Is Beau
Netflix and cuddling is a distant dream. Obsessively binge-watching Netflix and all the other web-platform is a reality. Initially, it was extremely fun, but it soon lost its shine, and now it has become a compulsion to fill the void. Your BFFs mostly have a partner, so weekends you are left alone in the company of the latest series or when things get worse – Friends- come to the rescue.
You Are The Brand Ambassador For Online Dating Apps
You have swiped left and right like a woman possessed. Tinder is the most opened app on your phone, and so are the host of other dating applications. You recognise random strangers in the coffee shop, as you have been matched to them in a number of sites.
So why are you still single? Either they have been bogus, or you have laughed at the bio of the others. You are now known as the Yoda of online dating and are thinking of starting a class for giving advice.
Cynicism Is Your Middle Name
You are never optimistic about the outcome of a date or any interesting guy that you have been talking to for more than 2 weeks. You almost force your dates and potential partners to go wrong. It is almost like walking on eggshells for you, rather than a stroll in the park.
Albeit, the bad dates have outnumbered the good ones that you are now convinced that love isn’t in the cards for you. The bitterness rears its ugly head from time to on, but sister don’t let it overpower you.
The couples doing PDA, makes you want to throw up a little. Remain your sweet and positive self.
Grooming Products Lie Unused
Since you have anyway turned asexual, the razors and hair removal creams have been lying unused. You don’t mind your hairy self one-bit, nor does your pet. So why bother!!! And anyway the growing middle is prohibiting your view of those sexy legs.
You Have Lowered Your Expectations
FYI, you shouldn’t date a loser just because you have been single for too long. Never lower your standards, ladies. It is obviously not right to expect someone eutopic, right out of some movies or novels. Keep it moderate, and just watch the universe work its magic for you.
Bridesmaid Too Many Times
There was a time when you would roll your eyes, at the engagement and marriage announcements on Facebook. Now it has stopped bothering you, almost! You have been in the bridesmaid gang of your friend’s group, for quite some time now.
When your friends complain about relationship problems, you automatically tune out, as it is nothing that you can relate to.
You Plan For One
You always ask for a table for one or a single ticket. It is anyway convenient to eat the entire meal rather than share it. The studio apartments are what you seek these days. Even AI technology has understood your single status and bombards you with relevant and at often times depressing advertisement.
Vacation plans search are always for locations for ‘single girl’. Freezing eggs and adoption procedures for single mothers feature regularly in your search history.
Befriending The Interns
You are the favourite senior for your interns and the new recruits. They are young and peppy, and mostly single. So you can hang out Fridays with them, and it’s just fun to be young (not so much for you) and being single.
You might have been single for more time than you actually hoped for, but it isn’t the end of the world. Being single is a dream you can lead life on your own terms, and a lot of ladies are envious of you. So until you find your soulmate enjoy the phase, without growing complacent.