The Do’s and Don’ts of Turning Down A Second Date

3 min read

turn down a second date
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In today’s day and age, when everything has become to digitized, to the fact that even dating and friendship, there ought to be many first encounters or dates that may not be followed by another.

However, the process to turn down a second date is a bit more complex than turning down someone after multiple dates. However, over time women have gotten very good at to say no to a second date, largely because apps like Tinder and Bumble have given us so many wonderful opportunities to go on several first dates. 

To tell a guy you don’t want a second date can sometimes come across as rude, but the fact that it is also because many a time the spark is missing. The best way to deal with it is when both you and your date agree to the truth and acknowledge the chemistry, which is missing.

But eventually, turning down a second date happens for the best. In fact, even women should not feel disrespected if they are turned down for a second date because let’s be honest, you don’t want to be turned down after your fifth or sixth date with someone. 

Also read: To Text Or Not To Text: 5 Times You Can Text Her First

There have also been times that men and women both tend to ghost each other in order to turn down a second date. Ghosting is disrespectful indeed, but it does not really affect you when you both mutually feel that there is zero chemistry between the two involved parties.

turn down a second date

However, it especially makes you feel like a loser when the feelings are not mutual and you get ghosted by someone you had a pleasant first date with. It is why, you should make it a point, more like a policy, to never leave someone hanging and come out clear with your intentions straight away. 

Here are some ways in which you can respond to turn down a second date:

Make your “No” Clear and Precise

Human beings have a tendency to be passive about situations that are supposedly sensitive in nature. It is especially prominent in the case of text-based communication in the dating world. We often expect the other person to take the hint and disappear.

Do not keep someone waiting for if the person likes you enough to ask you out a second time despite you trying to avoid him/ her, then it is your responsibility to do them a favour by making your declination of the offer clearer. Constantly excusing yourself due to your busy schedule is not the way to do it. 

Also read: What Happened To Johnny Depp And Amber Heard’s Relationship?

While it is understandable that saying a “No” out loud reduces the potential of any relationship in the future in case you want to keep your admirer as a backup option; your admirer deserves your honesty. Remember, honesty is always appreciated by a decent person. If you want to forge a relationship with the said person in the future, you can propose a friendship in case you liked your first date together.

“I’ll let you know in a while.”

If you are not sure if you want to turn down a second date with this person, then ask for some time and tell them that you will let them know later. However, ‘later’ does not encourage you to ghost your admirer. Please do kindly let them know about your decision later, or, let’s just say “in a while.”

Compliment them frankly

One of the best things about texting and communicating over messages is that you get to have more control over the words you choose to part ways with someone. So, if you are looking for ways to say no to a second date, start with telling them what interested you in the person first. Slowly, shift the conversation to why you think this person is not the one for you and swiftly, end the conversation on an amicable note. 

Make sure you make the other person feel competent about themselves and do not see it as a flaw in them that you do not want a second date. Ending with, “You were really interesting and I loved knowing you, but I think we have much in common. I don’t see us ending up together and I don’t want to waste your time, as well as mine. Thank you for making time to meet with me, though.”

If you feel unsafe, do whatever takes it to get out

Often people, especially women, do not feel safe and comfortable around their date. Especially due to easy access to the internet and online dating, ending up on a date with a creep or an imposter is not so surprising.

In fact, that is why you should always let your close ones know the location, time, name and phone number of your data, in case something concerning takes place. The above-mentioned tips are contingent when your date is a reasonable person. 

turn down a second date

However, if he is not one and you feel uneasy by their company, get out of the situation however you can. Being noble and righteous might not be appropriate for that situation. Your safety is your top priority and lets nobody tell you otherwise. 

Let’s recapitulate the Do’s and Don’ts to turn down a second date

It’s just a first date and most probably for many cases, it might also be your last with a particular person. However, to tell a guy that you don’t want to waste your precious time on them can be pretty complex and let’s face it, harsh! So, here are your checklist of Do’s and Don’ts that you need to master if you are into online dating and alike.

The Four Major Don’ts 

  • Do not lead him on
  • Do not ghost
  • Do not be mean
  • Do not make up excuses to avoid the situation

The Five Do’s of Rejecting Someone (just so that you come across as the bigger person)

Finally, let’s come to the things you should actually do when you want to turn down a second date. 

  • DO have your conversations from a distance (maybe, over text messages)
  • DO part ways on a good term
  • DO lead the conversation with a compliment
  • DO be honest and direct
  • DO wrap it up as fast as you can

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