So you’re totally on board with self pleasure techniques, but you don’t want to invest in a toy. A woman’s body is a wonderful thing and you know the best way to get yourself off. Maybe you just don’t want the current expense of a vibrator, or your normal one broke. Or you’re too embarrassed to get one right now, in case your family sees it or something like that (although many brands that sell those toys actually invest in discreet packaging, so no worries). Whatever it may be, women have been managing for centuries without a vibrator, believe it or not. So how do you pleasure yourself without one?
1. Get comfortable
You can only get to your orgasm when you’re in a safe space, having watched or listened to something erotic (or even read it!) or done some creative visualisation. Give in to your fantasies. Play music if that’s required, or some kind of sound. Really work to build the ambiance that will get you in the mood. Your physical arousal works in conjunction with your mind being turned on, as weird as that sounds. Get some lube involved if you feel like you need it! Then lie back and relax…
2. Use pillows
This is how a lot of people first discover masturbation, by dry humping pillows. It’s an oldie but effective, many women use it. You can try to pick a firm pillow so you can get the feel of it down there, and maybe try stripping down to your underwear (or just be totally naked!) and then start grinding against the pillow. It’ll feel sinful and amazing, especially because of the lack of hard stimulation. You can try out different kinds of pillows to see what suits you and brings you the most pleasure.
3. Take a bath
You might think this is kind of weird, but actually lots of women use water to get off. Try getting into a hot bath and relax. Use a faucet and adjust the speed, while placing yourself under it. If there’s a bidet involved, all the better. You can basically get a lot of pleasure just from pushing water between your legs. Also, you can adjust the water pressure. It’s sure to be a fun time. Make sure to pay attention to that special spot, the clitoris, for a great orgasm.
4. A hair dryer
Yes, it’s multipurpose after all. The wind from a hair dryer can be extremely arousing for someone’s women. You should find out if it’s arousing for you too. You can adjust the temperature and the pressure (be careful about keeping it a slight distance from your body). This is especially effective for women who prefer a gentler approach when it comes to stimulating their vulva. This can be more gentle than a vibrator on your vagina.
5. Use your fingers
This one is a given, but you can try changing it up. Maybe use your other hand that you normally don’t use, or try a different approach. Explore everything: your thighs, your neck, your sensitive spots. Feel your breasts and your nipples too, don’t leave them out of the game. Vibrators can only tackle one part of your body, but with your fingers you can get your whole body involved. Try to tease yourself and revel in the feeling: don’t always think about the orgasm but the way to get there.
6. Change up your technique
Whatever’s been working for you so far, it’s fine if you want to continue. But if you want a change that doesn’t involve a dildo, try something new. If you’re used to hard and fast orgasms, try to be gentler with your body and pleasure yourself slowly. Use lube and tease yourself in stops and starts. If you’re normally used to a subtle approach, try to maybe go a little faster. Even if you don’t orgasm right away, remember that the goal is a good time and to learn more about your body. Don’t always go into a masturbation session with the expectation of an orgasm (that doesn’t mean orgasms won’t come, of course they will!). Just enjoy yourself and give in.
What brings women pleasure isn’t as straightforward as what works for men. And women are the best judge of their own bodies. So don’t worry, you can get a lot done without a vibrator!