If you’re a woman living in India (or even other places), you’ve probably heard hushed whispers about all kinds of myths regarding sex and sexuality. People in this society don’t expect women to be open about matters relating to sex. However, women really suffer from these misconceptions when it comes to relationships and even casual sex, because assumptions that are made on the part of their male partners can affect the quality of the relationship and their sexual experience.
You might have been on the receiving end of these assumptions yourself and found it very difficult to manage. So what are these myths with regard to women and sex, and why are they totally unfounded?
Women don’t enjoy porn
It’s an open secret that men watch a lot of porn, but no one thinks that women enjoy porn. While it’s been suggested that many women enjoy reading or listening to erotica as well as a way of enjoying the sexual experience, women also watch porn and harbour their own fantasies, it’s just not accepted in society to do so. It’s also true that a lot of porn is heavily violent towards women, so even if women do want to watch porn, it can be distasteful to them for these reasons. Women do enjoy porn in spite of this, and watch it. In fact, some studies have shown that women respond more to visual stimulus, but they just don’t feel comfortable admitting to it.
Women don’t care about sex
India preserves the ideal of the domestic woman, who lives to please her husband and children and gives no thought to her own desires, forget sexual desires. But women obviously can and do desire sex as well, but are often taught to engage in it only via penetration or for the purpose of having children. Often, their boyfriends or husbands or other partners are not well-equipped to please them, so it is inferred that women just don’t care about sex. But many women have relatively high libidos and do want to have fulfilling sexual relationships.
Women take longer to orgasm than men
Women do take longer to orgasm when they are having sex with men. This is partly because penetrative sex is prioritised in heterosexual relationships. However, when masturbating or responding to some kind of erotic imagery or porn, both men and women take about ten minutes to reach orgasm.
The G-spot is the key to a woman’s pleasure
Every woman does have a G-spot, but it’s not necessarily a sexually pleasurable or erogenous zone for her. Many people think that once that part of the body is accessed, the whole sexual experience needs no further exploration. But your girlfriend might not necessarily respond to stimulation in that area and other parts of her body might turn her on more. In which case, you might be severely limiting yourself by assuming that every woman’s body works the same way.
You won’t get pregnant on your period
This is a risky thing to do if you choose to have sex on your period. Sex education is so scant in India that people don’t really look into these things. But actually sperm can survive in your body for several days, so an egg could be fertilised a little later. While it’s unlikely that you’ll get pregnant on your period, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Always use protection when you have sex on your period (which is actually quite a normal thing for couples to engage in).
The older you get, the less you enjoy sex
Women in their 30s and 40s actually have higher sex drives than women in their 20s. Psychologists say that sex can get better for women as they get older, rather than the opposite. They’re able to experience better and multiple orgasms, and they feel much more sexually content. So if you, like many women, worry about growing old, you actually have a lot to look forward to!
Ultimately such myths arise from ignorance. Women are often kept in the dark about their own bodies, and a lot of shame and anxiety can arise from that. But sex is a very natural thing and we have to learn to embrace it. At the same time, men have to make efforts to move beyond conservative ideas which suggest that they are the only gender that can enjoy sex.