The VOW got in touch with the extremely talented and equally beautiful and charming mother-daughter duo- Anita Kanwal and Pooja Kanwal to talk about their bond.
Being a daughter is only half the equation; bearing one is the other
Being a mother is one of the greatest joys of a woman. The power to bear a baby and nurture it, takes a lot of strength, which every woman does with aplomb.
Our biggest insecurities, greatest fear, and deepest sorrows are solved in that warm embrace- sleepless nights can turn into a restful sleep in her lap.
She is our loudest cheerleader and sternest critic- whose heart beats for our well-being. Not all Superheroes wear capes- some wear sweat and stretch marks- and the ability to mAnitae the best food in the entire world- it is none other than- our Mom.
Mothers are God’s best creation- and every single day we are grateful for you- even on the days we fight tooth and nail- and are mad like hell! But sometimes we fail to express this gratitude. Today on mother’s day- from all the children in the world- HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, MAA!
It breaks one’s heart when some women miss out on this opportunity– or when children are bereft of this security blanket. But on Mother’s day- here is to every woman who is a mother from heart and soul and in person.
Anita Kanwal is a veteran actress turned designer- who is known for her performance in critically acclaimed and extremely popular serials like ”ChanAnitaya”, “Banegi Apni Baat”. “Shanti”, “Sonpari”, and “Sasural Genda Phool” among others.
Her younger daughter Pooja Kanwal– who is a mother herself (watch their exclusive video in our YouTube channel)- is a popular face in the television and movie industry- with roles in daily soaps like “Palampur Express”, “Sasural Genda Phool”, “Gulmohar Grand”, and also in movies like “Blue Oranges”, “Thirupathi”, and many other projects.
Read on to find their candid conversation:
As celeb moms- how do you manage to strike the balance between your demanding career and raising a daughter?
Anita kanwal: When I was raising my two daughters, I had a really demanding career because I was doing 13 shows simultaneously. But I always managed to find time for their cultural meetings, parent-teacher meetings, and some fun times too.
I knew that career would go on but this was my time with my daughters and this time isn’t going to come back. It is important to find time for them.
Pooja kanwal: I can’t say it’s been easy and gets really difficult. The key for me is to get your priority straight. You are walking a very tight rope and a dangerous path. It seems like you are walking with a garland of guilt and all walking mothers would agree to this.
Everything about her planning and my work- I try to keep it hand in hand. These are two diverse worlds and don’t really merge together but I have to keep up on both areas and I am somehow managing to strike the balance and I have not known motherhood any other way.
Motherhood is a huge turning point in the life of a woman- do you remember how you felt when you learned this good news?
Anita kanwal: When I saw my daughters for the first time- my initial reaction was “Oh my God- they are beautiful!”
Pooja kanwal: A day before I was about to leave for an outing- I found out this good news. The first feeling was of extreme gratitude. TBH, after that, there were a lot of mixed feelings that follow like whether I am ready or do I have a maternal side or if I am going to enjoy the whole process of being a mother and raising a child.
What is the best thing about being a mom?
Anita kanwal: The best thing about being a mom is that because you are a woman you have the privilege, which men do not and I don’t think they realise what they are missing.
Pooja kanwal: It’s a difficult question to answer. It’s like the best feeling in the world. It is the little moments- like you are dying to get back home after a 20-hour shift. On any day off you are never feeling down and out- there are no blues despite this lockdown. My daughter- Avika- is big support emotionally and I can’t imagine life without her. We are now becoming best friends, and are each other’s soulmates. We have started sharing everything and developing a great friendship.
What is your favourite activity to do together?
Anita kanwal: For Pooja and me, our favourite activity together is always related to singing, dancing, or acting. Sometimes, we will sit and choreograph a dance sequence, or we brainstorm about different shows that we want to mAnitae or a new concept.
Pooja kanwal: For me, there is no downtime- if it isn’t with my daughter. You can call me Chipkoo. I enjoy all my free time doing every little thing with her. I love having crazy conversations with her. We bond at a lot of levels- we swim together, we work out together, and we love dancing together- and end up having creative differences.
Daughters are their mother’s reflection- does this statement hold true in your case?
Anita kanwal: With Pooja and me- she is a reflection of me in terms of her talent, her choice of career, her love for singing, and dancing- but that’s where it ends.
Pooja kanwal: I would love to see a lot more of myself in her, but I don’t. She doesn’t look like me at all but I really hoped she did. But she is crazy and quirky like I am. I love to find any resemblance between us. I hope that as she grows she becomes more like me- as daughters are their mother’s reflection- as they imbibe the little mannerisms. It is a great connection to see myself in her, but we are very far from where I would want it to be.
One message that you both want to tell each other on this mother’s day.
Anita kanwal: I love you very much and you have really done me proud and I hope that one day your daughter will give you the same joy that you have given me. God bless you, my dear!
Pooja kanwal: For me, every day is mother’s day and I am a mother of 7 years old- but I can proudly say that I am momma’s baby and she is the best friend that I have. She is the only person that I talk to on the phone every single day. I am obsessed with my mom and cannot imagine a day without her. I really hope I share with my daughter a relation similar to what I have with my mother.
Anita kanwal speaks:
What is more exciting: being a mother or a grandmother?
Being a mother is very exciting but I feel the little edge that a grandmother has over a mother is that you have more time. The responsibility is not yours but the pleasure is all yours.
What was one parenting tip that you shared with your daughter, Pooja kanwal?
I always tell my daughters that you are the producer of your child but she is not your product. You have to let her find her own interest and calling in life. A lot of parents try to impose their unfulfilled desire on their children. That should not be done- let them grow and find their spark.
What is the one thing you learned from Pooja kanwal?
I have a very fiery temper and she is very cool and I really want to be like her.
Pooja kanwal speaks:
Times have changed for the worse: what would you tell your daughter or what is the one life skill that she should have to save her life?
I want to teach my daughter to be a very independent person in all respects- emotionally, financially, and physically. I want to always be there for her like a best friend and a companion- the same way that I am with my mother.
One thing that I really want her to learn is cooking and I would be very fortunate if she has the Kanwal cooking genes from my mother’s side. All of them are fabulous cooks- and I think my mom’s cooking is the next level.
What is the one style tip that you borrowed from your mother?
I was brought by one of the most stylish women of all time. Mom has become an actress turned stylist and designer now, and she has it to another level altogether.
While growing up- she would dress my sister and me like little dolls- and this has been her inspiration behind turning into a designer. I don’t think I could imbibe enough from her.
My sister is also a stylist- but I don’t think I have learned even a little from her. I have a daughter now- but still, I can’t match up to what my mother can do in terms of dressing her up. I still ask mom to come and help me whenever Avika has any major function- and she is as excited to dress up her granddaughter as she was with us.
On my 35th birthday- my mother came to do my hair. So, when you have grown up with her you begin to understand basic styling and designing. The main thing I learned is to be confident in whatever you wear.
You are a mother to a beautiful daughter: is your parenting style different from your mom’s?
I don’t think I can compare my parenting to my mum. My mother had a lot of challenges– she was single at the age of 29 and she brought two girls while having a full-fledged career. She went on to become a phenomenal star with 6-7 series happening simultaneously.
My mum had double the kids, half the help, and 10 times the work that I am doing. So, every time I complain about something- I just look at her. In Spite of everything she was extremely patient with us more than I am with my daughter.
So, if I am even 10 percent of the mother that she has been- then I am on the right path. She has been like the best mother, best and father, and now the best grandparent to our children.
We are born of love: Love is our mother- Rumi