Have you been married for a while? A bit worried things aren’t going too well in the bedroom? The fact is married couples have a lot to deal with; chores, jobs, families, and also kids if there are any. Your lives might become too hectic to really put much thought into intimacy. But it’s a part of the relationship and it has to be kept in mind. The fact is that many couples make some pretty elementary mistakes when it comes to how they view sex after marriage. Do you think you’re making them too?
Taking your partner for granted
A lot of people think marriage means monotony and more of the same, but it’s all how you see it. If you think your sex life will continue exactly as it was, and you’ll be doing the exact same things when you want to, then you’re really doing a disservice to your partner. You should be considerate and open to new things, you never know how you’ll enjoy them. As you develop as people and in a relationship, tastes also change and you become more secure with the other person.
Not putting aside time for intercourse
Things aren’t as simple as they were when you were just dating, probably. You had the time to schedule date nights and romantic dinners. But now after putting the kids to bed you probably think it’s good for you guys to call it a day too. However, you’ll never have time for coitus if you don’t make it. It doesn’t really always need to follow a lavish evening, you can just set aside time for just the two of you.
Waiting for the best time
You might want to have sex but you keep putting it off because the timing isn’t right. You have to wake up early tomorrow, or you don’t want to tire yourself out, or you’re not sure your partner wants to. But the timing will never be perfect and sometimes you just have to take the plunge. It’s constantly putting it off that’ll make it become less frequent in your relationship, and you’ll regret that loss of closeness.
Not wanting change
Yes, there might be certain things that work for you and make you feel really good. But every relationship needs a little spice every now and again. If your partner suggests something new that he might like, don’t reject it right away just because you don’t know anything about it, or you’re not comfortable with new things. If you’re uncomfortable with that new thing in particular, that’s different. But try to keep an open mind when it comes to these things. A lot of couples like bringing toys into their relationship, for example. You might discover something new that you really like as well.
Not communicating what you want
Women especially find it a bit hard to tell their partners what they’d like in the bedroom, since they’re raised not to talk or even think about sex. But that’s just not how reality works, and women have sexual desires just like men. Trust that you’ve married a man who will listen to you as an equal and be open with what you’d like. You’ll find that sex will become a much better experience for both of you when you actually communicate openly.
Worrying about how your sex life looks
It’s impossible not to watch porn, or even television, that shows sex like it’s some kind of extremely heightened drama that makes you the happiest you’ve ever been. Sex can be extremely fulfilling and make you happy, but it’s not a fantasy. You shouldn’t compare your sex life to anything you see on television or on your computers and wonder what you’re doing wrong. As long as you’re both happy, you’re probably doing everything right. Be confident and you’ll have a good time. The kind of sex people have in real life really isn’t very similar to porn.
Zoning out emotionally
You may have had plenty of one-night stands in your dating days, but marriage involves a lot of emotional connection. You can’t just dive into sex without considering that it’s not purely physical, a lot of the intimacy comes from emotional vulnerability and connection.
If you’re making these mistakes, now you know what should you do!