Usually, couples like to go to bed together. Particularly for women, it helps make them feel a lot more comforted and emotionally invested in the relationship. However, while it’s quite idealistic and everyone would love to do this, sometimes it’s just not feasible.
It’s possible that you’re in a relationship where you’re the night owl and your partner is the early bird. You love staying up late watching makeup videos while your partner would rather turn off the lights and go to sleep. Or maybe one of you works a late shift or a night shift, in which case you have to go to sleep earlier. It may also be that you have a sleep disorder (or your partner does), that makes it difficult for someone to sleep beside you. Or maybe your guy snores and you just can’t get to sleep that way. How do you solve all these problems? You do want to go to bed together, but it’s affecting someone else’s sleep. First, you communicate.
Acknowledge the problem
You both need to admit to each other that there’s an issue here. By ignoring the problem or arguing about it, or trying to blame each other for lack of sleep on one person’s end, it’s not going to present a solution. You need to work together to arrive at some kind of consensus or agreement so you can both sleep better while keeping your relationship stable.
Discuss how you will resolve the issue
In most cases, there’s some solution or the other. You have to debate whether you’ll meet your partner in the middle or whether more drastic solutions are required. To some extent, a compromise might be required on both sides. You must decide how much you can compromise and to what extent. Then, try to come to some kind of solution.
Go to sleep together
It has been observed that partners feel a greater sense of intimacy when they sleep together. So if either you or your partner has to wake up early for some reason, try to at least stay in bed long enough for the other person to fall asleep. So if your boyfriend has an early work shift and you need to stay up late, cuddle in bed till he falls asleep. Then get up and go about your work. You’ll both feel like you connected to some extent, even though you aren’t sleeping in the same bed at the same time.
Don’t disturb each other
It’s possible for someone else to sleep in the same room while you’re awake. Maybe you have some reading to do or you need to do some work. So try to wear headphones and limit the amount of light that’s coming from your side of the room. Invest in a book light if it helps. If you have a call to make, take it to another room.
Change up the ambiance of the room
It could be that something in the room is making it hard for you to sleep. For example, perhaps your partner has to wake up very early and his alarm keeps waking you up as well. In which case, discuss getting one that won’t be disruptive to you. Or maybe your partner snores. Try to get a white noise machine or a sound machine to help drown that out, or maybe earplugs. Try a decongestant as well.
Workaround sleeping completely separately
While sleeping separately might have to be a solution if nothing else is working, try to work around it. Sleep separately maybe a few times a week, and then adjust on the other days. This will, at least, help you maintain the emotional bond that’s formed with sleeping together.
See a doctor
If sleep is becoming a huge problem for one or both of you, then you should see someone who is an expert in the subject. See a doctor if a sleep disorder is seriously interfering with your life and your partner’s sleep.
Sleeping in the same bed as your partner becomes a hundred times more complicated when kids are involved, which is why the two of you always need to be on the same page about it. The key to a solid relationship is open communication.