How To Know Whether You Are In Love Or Just Obsessed

2 min read

Khadija Rahman
A spirited writer who looks at the world with an inquisitive mind. Passionate about many things, she is an active campaigner for women’s rights and wants to change the world, one article at a time.

Being in love is an amazing feeling. Finding that special someone who loves us wholeheartedly is something all of us desire. But the line between love and obsession is a fine one. How do you know if it is love or obsession when both of them are so similar? 

With Bollywood normalizing stalker-like obsession to be love, confusion between the two was ineluctable. Be it Shahrukh Khan playing an obsessed stalker in Darr, or Kartik Aaryan’s misogynistic dialogues in Pati Patni Aur Woh, the standards for love have been wrongly set. Let us look at what love really is and how you can differentiate it from obsession.

Seeking Approval

All of us seek approval from our loved ones. Whether it’s ordering in their favorite food or wearing something they would like, it’s in our nature as humans to do it. However, you need to be careful. If it is love, there will be a give and take quotient in the relationship. But with obsession, it is more of giving than receiving. If the intention behind doing something for the other person is not coming from a place of love, then you need to take a step back.

Communication Matters

A message from your partner can instantly put a smile on your face. It is natural to want to check up on each other and talk every day, especially if the relationship is new. But if the desire to speak turns into constant phone calls, know that the alarms are ringing! A person in love cares where you are and whether you are okay. But an obsessed person will demand to know where you are and why you didn’t respond to them earlier. 

Complete Support

One of the perks of being in love is having someone’s support. Knowing that special someone has got your back during all times is comforting and feels safe. But it is not the same for someone obsessed. Obsession, by definition, is ‘extreme.’ So, instead of being happy about the promotion you got, an obsessed person will worry about the changing dynamics of the relationship and will be annoyed or upset. 

Priorities Change

When you fall in love, everything and everyone else in your life take a back seat. For a while, your whole life revolves around them. Jonathan Marshall, a relationship expert, and psychologist say that this is completely normal. But, if the person or their actions are isolating you from everyone else in your life, you need to rethink the relationship. 

Trust Issues

Love helps to trust one another. However, it is not the same as an obsession. Love is when your better half trusts you remain faithful. An obsessed person will want to be in touch at all times and demand to know details about the people you are out with. They are insecure about themselves and will thus impose it on you. The difference becomes apparent, especially when you are in a long-distance relationship.

Listen Closely

They say love is blind because you are not able to see the other person’s flaws. But, if we talk about obsession, it is also deaf and dumb. Not only do you see-through the red signs, but you also do not pay heed to advise or speak up. 

Although it is reasonable to care more about the other person at the beginning of the relationship, always be in touch with reality. It is essential to have your own identity in a relationship. If you get negative vibes about the other person, pay attention because intuition is never wrong. It knows what logic cannot explain. 

You should also talk to your family and friends. Have an honest conversation with them. People who love us often know what is good for us and what is not, even when we can’t see it. Other’s perspective on things often helps us build our opinion.  

When passion controls one’s emotion, it can quickly become an obsession. As love and obsession are almost identical to each other, one can easily be mistaken for the other. It is crucial that you remain honest with yourself. You must remember that love gives, while obsession seeks.