Oral sex can be just as fun and pleasurable as penetrative sex, if not more. There’s no more or less legitimate way to have sex, just go with what brings you and your partner the most pleasure. Often, oral sex involves one person paying attention exclusively to the other, which can be a very intimate and vulnerable act, and can also be very pleasurable for both parties. You just have to figure out how to go about it right.
1) Don’t rush through it
Many people use oral sex as foreplay, but even if it’s the main event for you, try to go slowly. Teasing is usually a good way to ensure that the other person is aroused as long as you focus on their sensitive points.
2) Be honest
Women are schooled from a young age to devalue their sexuality. However, if your partner is engaging in oral sex with you be open about what you like and don’t like. Don’t feel pressured to do anything that you’re not comfortable with, and be vocal. If you like what your partner is doing, try to express your appreciation and encouragement; this will make him feel good too. Talk through the process and be enthusiastic.
3) Use scented oils or edible oils
This can bring a new dimension of pleasure to the act, if a guy is going down on you or you are pleasuring him. It brings a sinful and sensuous angle to the process and can make it very pleasurable. Be sure you source oils or other lubricants from safe stores or sites and that whatever you use is totally safe to apply to intimate areas of the body. You can even use flavoured condoms.
4) Play around with control
Occasionally a man would enjoy it if you pretended to be the more dominant one while pleasuring him. On the other hand, sometimes you might enjoy playing a more submissive role. Be open to fantasy and role playing when you indulge in oral sex and the whole thing becomes much more fun. You can use ties and rope too. However, if you’re not keen on that, there’s no compulsion to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Communication is key.
5) Use your tongue and your hands
Both are important in oral sex. You can use your fingers to tease and touch, and your tongue to bring pleasure. Using both at the same time will guarantee more pleasure. Try to focus on sensitive, erogenous zones in the body and capitalize on that.
6) Build up
You can’t just head straight for oral sex and except your partner to climax. You have to focus on other parts of the body; the neck, the thighs, the back, and any other sensitive part which will make them feel good. Similarly, if your partner tries to start and finish the process in a few minutes, something is going wrong. You have to explore each other’s bodies and build anticipation so that you’re ready to build to a climax.
7) Try new positions
While you can’t achieve oral sex in every position, obviously, try to experiment and find ones that you’re both comfortable with. You can get down on your knees, or lift up your legs. You can even try it in other rooms to spice things up and make it more exciting. As long as you’re alone and have privacy, feel free to experiment with whatever you like. Some people enjoy having oral sex in unexpected places like on kitchen tables or in dining rooms, it adds some thrill to the act.
8) Use toys
If you feel uncomfortable directly giving oral sex or aren’t ready for it yet, you can always use sex toys to bring someone to orgasm. Buy something that suits your specifications and needs and it can be a great success. It brings another level of intimacy if you’re the one operating it for your partner’s pleasure, and as long as you’ve talked about it before, it can be something that will bring you closer.
Oral sex is really a good option if you don’t feel like fully taking the step to penetration, or if you simply aren’t in the mood. It can be particularly useful if you’re trying to avoid any pregnancy risks or even if you’re on your period. For women, since clitoral stimulation can often be as pleasurable as penetration, it can be a really great experience. Men also appreciate how open and vulnerable the act of providing oral sex can be. It can be totally freeing to give yourself up entirely to another person.